THIGHS IN THE SKY '09!

This is another open letter to Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails.

Dear Trent,

I hope you're still letting me call you Trent. I know I have not updated this letter since I wrote it, so I am updating it now, since it is terribly out of date. I did indeed go to see you in Grand Rapids on November 15, 2008, and I had the time of my life. I did wear my shirt, but honestly I don't expect you to have seen me, I was just one fan in a crowd of many. Now that I have gotten to see the show the way it was meant to be seen, I am practically speechless at how amazing it is. Like you said in your "Curtain Call" update, it was the best show of the year. I would even go so far as to say it was the best show ever. It's definitely the best show that I have ever seen, and I know many people would agree.

Also, while we're on the topic of that update of yours that caused the nin.com forums to go into a mass panic, take all the break time that you need, and I am sure that any future shows that you do, while not on the same scale as Lights in the Sky, will be just as amazing. You have to rest that throat, bro!

But don't forget, while you are resting, the question still stands.

Trent, can I bite your thigh?

Love, Staci Tipsword

Trent has a really cute kneecap and foot, too. And of course he's looking at TCIBYT. ;) Check it out:

Yes, I know my Photoshop (actually, GIMP) skillz are teh suck.

(the previous letter)

Dear Trent,

Can I call you Trent? For the sake of simplicity I will pretend that you have said "yes". I recently saw you at Lollapalooza during your Lights in the Sky tour. I was amazed at what kind of show you could put on. You are amazingly talented, Trent, and so is the rest of your touring line-up for this tour. I am going to see you again November 15, 2008 in Grand Rapids, MI, because I just have to see your show again.

Now, onto business. Trent, I am so happy that you have kicked the drugs and are now sober. That is clearly the best thing for you. Once you got clean, you really bulked up! I was shocked, to say the least. You look _really_ good now. You always looked great, don't get me wrong, but now you look fantastic and healthy.

One by-product of your new physique is your great thighs. I don't know what kind of squats or whatever you've been doing, but for the sake of everyone, _please_ keep doing it. I am no health or exercise fanatic, not in the least, but I can tell that you've been putting some work into those thighs. I hope this doesn't disturb you, but I would seriously appreciate it if you would let me bite one of your thighs. Not hard, mind you, just enough to really let my teeth sink into one of those beautifully shaped thighs of yours.

You don't even have to speak to me before, during, or after the biting. You can even punch me in the face if you want. Call me names. Do whatever. But it would really make me happy if you would let my teeth feel the resistance of your muscles against them.

Trent, I don't know what it is about you, but you have captivated me. Excuse the total cheesiness of this, but "you are the perfect drug." Seriously. Okay, that was really cheesy, and stupid, and I apologize. But my question remains the same. So, please, Trent...

can I bite your thigh?

Love, Staci Tipsword